why i can’t slow down

I once heard that asking someone in Los Angeles what they do is a complicated question, because it requires a complicated answer. It’s not “what do you do?” so much as “what did you come here to do?”

As portrayed in the award-winning film La La Land, Los Angeles is the city of hopes and dreams. It’s the city people move to to follow their artistic and creative passions in cut-throat industries. Simply put, Los Angeles is not only the City of Angels, but the City of Aspirations.

So it’s a complicated question. What did you come here to do, and while you’re pursuing that, what do you do?

If you were to ask me what I do, the answer, unsurprisingly, is complicated. But not quite in the same vein as what I briefly discussed. I have many titles.

Professionally I am an editor full-time, a news writer part-time, and a freelance writer for various publications. On top of that, I am a visual artist. I could wax poetic about how the simple act of creation keeps me sane when my occupation is quite the mouthful. Between my job(s) and my creative endeavors, I still make time to have a social life. A lot of people might say this is a lot to handle, carefully leaning over the borderline of too much to handle. I’d argue against that.

While it’s very important to take a break and a mental vacation every once in a while, the act of “slowing down” is foreign to me. My mind can’t process it. If you look at my desktop or my phone, I have more than plenty of tabs, windows and apps open. Oftentimes you might find me in a state saying “I have so many thoughts on so many things.” I’ve been told that simply looking at my desktop induces slight anxiety. But I suppose that’s where I diverge from others.

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To be blunt, this is how my brain works. I have an infinite number of varying thoughts floating around my head. I speak in a stream of consciousness that, to some, can be hard to follow. When I find an interest and want to know the answer, I set aside the other thoughts and/or priorities to fall down a rabbit hole of sorts until I find what I’m looking for. If that trip down is interrupted by another thought, the cycle repeats itself.

This is all I know. It’s how I function. For as long as I can remember I’ve been a busy person. Whether that was with school or dance classes, or piano lessons and what have you, there has always been something to keep me going, turning those imaginative gears.

My mother tells me that this is because I am a creative at heart. A friend once told me it’s clear that I have “the artists’ soul.” Maybe that’s it, but maybe some people are just constantly going. Perhaps it’s problematic because the attention span isn’t quite as long as what might be ideal. But it’s that curiosity that leads me to discover and explore.

But I suppose the question really is, do I ever give myself a break? Of course I do. Even an Energizer Bunny runs out of battery life. But instead of taking a “break” I find my time of R&R through my hobbies and projects, during my 20 minute walks to the market or elsewhere, alone time window shopping, writing these blog posts, journaling, riding on my commute or most frequently, during my showers. Even if that means researching for my next story or brainstorming for new pitches. That’s when I “slow down.” My quiet moments are when I’m with myself. I’m an I(ntrovert)NTP, after all.

Yet even then, my thoughts are still moving forward. It’s a never-ending circle.

a (second) candid look at whole30: day one

HAHAHA.

As if.

Maybe in a little bit! I’ll definitely be making stuff from the Whole30 cookbook and keep in mind what I’m eating from now on, but this girl needs some sweets and bagels ASAP.

Like I said yesterday though, I’ll probably take on the challenge again as it gets closer to summer. Stay tuned! In the mean time, there are lots of things in the works in terms of blog(s) and my personal website, so be sure to stay in touch to be updated on what’s new.

peace and love.

-dale

work in progress

I’m sure I have a post titled this already, but whatever.

I am currently sitting in the dark of my dining room while I patiently attend to my teriyaki chicken. New York times told me to grill/broil for 3 minutes per side. I broiled. It’s still raw. So onto the frying pan it goes.

Anyway, doing Whole30 made me realize how much I enjoy blogging. Or, rather, relentlessly typing without editing myself. It’s kind of fun. Of course is anything ever truly unedited these days? We’re constantly editing our social media feeds, our thoughts; we filter ourselves before we say things out loud. I digress.

My point being, that I really enjoy writing. Even if it’s just my random thoughts. I once listened to a podcast with Leandra Medine of Man Repeller, one of my favorite blogs, and her advice was to journal about everything, even if it’s a weird, stupid thought. With that in mind, I find myself to have a number of blogs/publications of my own. Much like the journals and notepads I have been hoarding my entire life, each one has its own purpose and voice.

Some of my blogs I’ve abandoned, moving on to a new purpose or idea. Others, I didn’t love to begin with. Mind you I’m only 22;  though I have a good grasp of the character that embodies me, I’m still finding myself. I have a life to live.

Pause: I had to tend to my chicken. Didn’t want it to burn, but that whole salmonella thing doesn’t exactly appeal to me.

I have a portfolio site that’s currently in the works. I’ll reveal it when it’s all finished, I promise!

But until then, look out for posts happening on here until I get everything else settled. Think of this blog as an unedited journal of sorts.

a candid look at whole30: day thirty

 

hooray!

My thoughts from yesterday:

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I’ve made it to day thirty! To be quite honest though, this day is being cut short because as I’ve said so many times, I’m essentially a broken record at this point, I’m done with whole30. For now. I’ll probably do it again relatively soon, especially when summer’s getting a little close and I want to be outside more in the sunlight.

Maybe I’ll try to work out more consistently during that time and won’t have as many visitors…

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(Me at the gym ready to box.)

Oh! My new bento box from today:

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It’s called Takenaka. Super cute and microwave/dishwasher safe. Although when I cut my chicken in it the plastic knife put in some marks, but I suppose that’s life.

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breakfast:

  • hot water with lemon and a packet of Beauty Dust from Moon Juice. It tasted better than I expected.
    • I’ve actually had a few other items from Moon Juice that make me want their cookbook so if anyone is interested in buying me a present for no reason, here’s the hint
  • Banana with almond butter

lunch:

  • chicken thighs meal prepped the night before.
  • breakfast sweet potatoes from Day Twenty Five

And that’s where I ended it! I came home to snack on some Cookie Butter ice cream from Trader Joe’s as well as had Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at work (sue me). We’ll see how my body feels after an immense amount of dairy, but I kind of want Chipotle for dinner.

I haven’t weighed myself since starting and I’m sure it’s really not too much different since I started given that I wasn’t really doing any sort of portion control and I just ate an embarrassing amount of ice cream. However, I do feel as though I’m just slightly leaner and that’s probably from cutting out all of the carbs.

My friend Iain is in town, which is perfect timing because he wants to get soju (rice wine) with another friend in Korea Town tonight. The world has become my food oyster once again!

…but I promise my good habits will stay, I will let you know otherwise if that changes.

Eat clean to stay lean. Eat what you want to um, be a happy individual.

Note: Chipotle is actually Whole30 approved, I just haven’t eaten it in the past month because I like rice, beans, meat and cheese. That’s all. You can totally have it while on Whole30. Just an FYI. But I did learn I don’t need it as often as I had it before.

a candid look at whole30: day twenty nine

!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so to be fair, I’m ready to eat real food. But I’m sorry Whole30. I don’t mean to just cast you to the side as we get through the end of this together.

Anywho, As I’ve said for the past ten days, I have no profound thoughts that I’ve already said in these blog posts. While I’m keeping up my habit of getting up earlier every day, I’ve put morning yoga to the side until I’ve finished my book club book (I’m the president, which means I should probably finish it by the time we get to our TBD meeting point).

For some reason I’ve been wanting to get into my yoga practice more and more again. I probably didn’t write about it for a while I was actually really into it, but I was considering becoming an instructor once upon a time. So I’ve been asking former teachers for advice, hopefully something comes through! Will keep you posted 😉

I got the most adorable bento box in the mail today that I’m forever going to use as my lunchbox instead of bringing a dingy Lululemon sack to work (it served me well until now). I have pictures of it but I’ll share that tomorrow because I’m too tired to upload them now.

breakfast:

  • slice of turkey
  • an entire bag of pistachios (I’m only slightly ashamed because I think it can be agreed upon that the pistachio is the most addictive of all the nuts)

lunch:

  • ground turkey
  • cauliflower rice

dinner:

  • three strips of Whole30 bacon.

I told you I went back to eating random foods to keep me full.

one more day!

a candid look at whole30: day twenty eight

I admit that I’ve essentially returned to my old ways of not eating actual meals. Call me a creature of habit. Once again, I’m just ready for this goddamn diet to be over so I can actually eat what I want and not feel guilty about it.

breakfast:

  • Almonds
  • Hard boiled egg (THIS WAS VERY HARD TO PEEL THIS MORNING)

snack:

  • almonds
  • a few kumquats sprinkled throughout the day

lunch:

  • sweet potato with ghee

snack:

  • one entire package of cold cuts on the way home from the grocery store….I was pretty hungry.
  • organic paleo cacao banana crisps that my roommate Jackie doesn’t enjoy.

a candid look at whole30: day twenty seven

three. more. days.

While I really am looking forward to finishing this thing, I really am hoping that these better eating habits will continue. I’m also a little scared to discover if I’m intolerant on any of these things. But hopefully that doesn’t happen.

breakfast:

  • hard boiled egg
  • cashews

lunch:

  • can of tuna with olive oil
  • almonds
  • apple with almond butter

 

I can’t remember why I didn’t eat dinner that night, but probably because I wasn’t in the mood for anything.

a candid look at whole30: day twenty six

Okay I’m still playing catch-up. But I’m also getting lazy with these posts as there have been no new discoveries made with my body. Check back in when I’m all finished, and we’ll see what weird things happen then.

I’m still waking up at 6am. Not to do yoga, since I take a little more time to get ready now, but to read for a couple minutes, which is nice I do have to say.

Also, I stopped noting that I’m having hot water with lemon because that’s just a given at this point.

morning:

  • sweet potato chips
  • almonds
  • a few kumquats (also known as Dale’s trendy food of the moment)

afternoon:

  • steamed sole
  • Finished off the rest of my almonds
  • finished off my sweet potato chips

a candid look at whole30: day twenty five

Sorry, playing catch up here once again. A friend came to visit and my Whole30 ways inevitably affected her diet for the weekend, but what’s new in this Whole30 life!

I don’t have anything profound to say because I’m still in the energetic, upbeat mood I’ve been in for the past week and a half. So here’s what I ate today.

breakfast:

  • breakfast sweet potatoes cooked in olive oil and bacon fat
  • omelette with spinach
  • Whole30 bacon

lunch/dinner-ish:

  • chai latte with almond milk
  • sweet potato chips
  • Rxbar
  • sweet potato fries

a candid look at whole30: day twenty four

I have a friend who’s visiting this weekend, so it’s a little tough to finish off Whole30 over this last week. But overall it’s still okay! We’re trying to stay healthy and due to the warmer weather, we’re eating a little lighter than normal.

breakfast:

  • Moon Juice Root Royal pressed juice

lunch:

  • Acai bowl with blueberries and strawberries
  • Chair latte with almond milk

dinner:

  • ground crispy turkey with some spices and fresh mint
  • riced cauliflower

Can I also say how delicious cauliflower rice is, and easy to make?? I LOVE rice. I mean, I’m Asian, but this was a new discovery! So thanks Whole30 for this!

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