This Moment.

I have a lot of moments where I forget to stop and take a breathe–literally.

The past few weeks have all seemed to blur together for me. I’m not entirely sure if that’s because I was out of town one weekend, a long series of events occurred to my personal life, or even if it was the fact that I simply had a lot of work to do.

Sometimes I suffer from anxiety. It’s not a constant issue, but it’ll come in very occasional waves. I don’t get paranoid but sometimes I just need someone to validate my thoughts (even if they’re irrational).

I’ve been told that I think too much plenty of times. As much as I hear when people tell me, I’ve never really listened to them. Not only do I think too much, but I worry. At this point of my life there are so many things to keep in mind, even though I’m just a young person. I’m experiencing various midlife crises at 19...

I think about the future–whether it be near or far–and I’d be lying if I said all of those thoughts play a major factor in my decisions.

Yet with all of this worry, I forgot to just take everything one step at a time and focus on the now.

As much as I continue to think about what my future holds, sometimes I have to remind myself that the future isn’t quite as important as the present. Of course that doesn’t mean that I can’t have goals. Simply put, I won’t have any memories to reminisce if all I do is think about what’s next.

This realization came upon unique circumstances, in the sense that I was the one experiencing everything. While I was still apprehensive about my decisions that evening, I certainly don’t regret anything I did. Everything I experienced was positive in some way or another, and to be more specific it allowed me to open my eyes a little wider in the scheme of all things.

The outcomes of that evening, as well as other times, may not have been ideal but I realized exactly what people have been telling me: I think too much. “Thinking” isn’t bad–not at all, but when it takes over your life, to the extent where it hinde,rs you from actually doing anything, it certainly isn’t the best.

Let this be a lesson learned for me (and for you as well, dear readers): While I have every right to think about my future, I must stop and take a breathe. I also don’t need to weigh in every factor when given a decision about what i want now.

They sure weren’t kidding when they said “Carpe Diem,” but sometimes it’s really like, “Carpe the f–king diem.”

Pardon my French.


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